It's Like A Wet Dream... EXCEPT IT'S A DREAM THAT KEEPS ON GIVING!!

Haider Ackermann... Haider Ackermann... HAIDER ACKERMANN.... Omg stop being so damn studly you columbian hunk! JEEZ! It's like you want me to spend my piggy bank money on your clothes, because that's what i'm going to have to do! I mean have you seen this collection!? It's like a sexy lady meets a sexy creeper meets a sexy make shift grandma who meets a panda who falls in love with a whale and produces a mermaid! I'm really sorry you had to read that...

I can't really describe my feelings right now, at first I cried, then I cried some more. After that tear session I got some Cheetos and viewed again, (more tears ensued). There's something so beautiful and simple about Haider, (AKA god of my world at the moment) that is just BREATHTAKING! Maybe it's the fact that his clothes are made with such emotion... I don't know... I'M IN LOVE OKAY! Don't judge!

Gareth Pugh and I are in a steamy hot love affair

But no seriously. Have you ever wanted to date a designer? Like, not in the nice friendly way but more in like the Yo-dawg-lets-have-hot-steamy-love kinda way? Well if not... Um... Ummmm.... Okay moving on, Gareth Pugh's(GOD's) spring 2012 collection is like sex. Sometimes it causes diseases, but it's fun up until that point! And continuing with that sex analogy this collection screams desperate hoe. The hoe being me, and the men who I do nasty things to are the clothes. (I HOPE GP, oh yeah abbreviating, NEVER READS THIS!)
Maybe it's not as dramatic before, (unless you count the fact that these girls strutted their stuff with their FREAKING boob's and vagina's showing, under the leather rib working of course) but it's still quentisetial Gareth Pugh. His girl, a glamazon with a dark warrior edge always inspires, sometimes confuses, but without fail provides a constant source of inspiration. Gotta be honest, I have a little man boner for Gareth Pugh and his clothes. ESSPECIALLY HIS SHOES! OH GOD THESE SEXY SHOES!

If it wasn't for my non-existent source of income I would without a doubt buy these sex mongers. My feet would be having serious toe gasms if I wore them.
And lastly, for the girl (and me) who can't wear this outfit,

due to the nudity 'issue' I think the best bet would be to combine, and bear with me a black button down. The contrast between the super charged Beyonce warrior and the masculinity of a simple button down would be striking! Or ugly... Who knows!
Goodnight interwebz.

Guess Where I've Been

Besides the obvious, (IN FRONT OF THE TV WATCHING RACHEL ZOE, DUH!) I spent last weekend frolicking in the land of the fashionable, I.e FASHION FUCKING WEEK! OH MY GOD! but no really, the style outsider, in true outsider fashion decided that at fourteen, an old age for a fashionista, that it was time for fashion week. So two years later, and four seasons in I can say that fashion just keeps on getting... Chifonier?

The fashion shows I attended, (Jill Stuart, HONOR which really should be renamed to OHMYGODWHATISTHISSEXYNESSJESUS, and ADAM, which also should be renamed to ADAM LIPPES LET ME HAVE YOUR BABIES, and many more) were filled with chiffon, silk, pastels, and blown up granny florals that were reminiscent of an axe-murdering grandmother. Sexy. I love me some wrinkly ladie boners. And this was only at the tents!

Over in the land of Milk Studios the worlds youth bumped rears with fashion and it really shows. I want you to imagine neons, LOTS OF NEONS, in fact the number of neons present for the modern women is equal to the amount of scarves I have. Hint: the number is above 50 and below 52

And that was just New York!

EVIDENCE:

See how much I love you guys! I post ugly photos of me just for you, my lovely non-existent reader. taken by ouch magazine.